Changes and Transitions

Change can be a loaded word, even when it is constantly happening. It may come as a surprise sometimes, some others, it was years of anticipation and dread. Times preceding moves can be painfully scary. Frequently, after it happens, it was not bad at all, or it was more tolerable than one would think. These ideas deserve a pause in our day and a re-assessment of the situation.
Anticipation is fueled by fantasies. Sometimes those turn into panic.

Situations like going to college for the first time bring more questions than answers in the mind of parents, relatives and the student. The idea of separating is more jarring than the separation itself. Questions starting with “What if” such as safety, judgement, academic ability, emotional maturity abound. When the first year is over, many of those have been answered.
In the course of life, transitions that prove challenging, also prove to be a source of self assurance. Those “ I did it” become the building blocks to “I can, I do, I have”. These ideas deserve a pause in our day and a re-assessment of the situation.

We see these “before” and after” in the course of our work. Many times sadness or apprehension get in the way of springing into action. Being reminded that we are more powerful and independent are examples of events that take place in sessions.

It would be unthinkable to express some ideas to friends or relatives, for worries about the impact and repercussions on how they relate to us. When the question “Hi, how are you?” is posed, no one expects a very long answer, although it may very well be. Having a situation where to explore the real answer is far more reassuring and productive.

Examples of transitions are many. Getting married, accepting a job far away, deciding to get out of a toxic or loveless relationship, onset of illnesses, close ones going through their own changes and being less available, retirement and the time around it, giving up the house and downsizing, children: when they arrive and when they leave…when they get the first car.
Some ideas are worth considering: change can be good. Dealing with adversity the first time, gives us hope to deal with the next challenges.

There is power in positive thinking . It pays to train oneself in finding hope . We derive confidence and wisdom from our past . We will change again and will learn and survive with every turn. Much of that, is the work of therapy.